Daddy’s Arbitrage: currently in post-production. Or… kinda.
On the treadmill, the first 10-15 minutes are always the most difficult for me. I keep asking myself if I really have what it takes to see it through; the pain in my joints are amplified and I am forced to push myself through. But once I’m able to overcome the initial hurdle, I know I’m more than capable of running faster and longer than I have before. That’s probably because I’ve managed to reach a point where the end is near-and if I can see that goalpost, I can score damn it. It should come as no surprise than that I’m a late bloomer and have always struggled with “beginning” stuff; there are so many unknowns that my mind classifies as obstacles and responds to by going into fear or flight mode…
When it comes to post-production, there’s the viewing, edit list creation, editing and re-editing to infinity, color correction, sound mix, efx, sound track development… Not to mention the poster design and other promotional materials that are needed for when the film is complete. And each step of the way, you’re constantly reminded of what you DIDN’T do, what is lacking, what you need to make up for and what you messed up, not what you accomplished. Editing is honest, it holds no secrets. And the process is grueling: it takes painstaking work and determination to see it through.
And afterwards comes the film festival applications, which I don’t even want to think about at the moment. The process of creating press kits, posters, trailers and applying to hundreds of festivals, with an acceptance rate of 20 to 1 (if you’re lucky!) And why am I writing about all this now? Well, Daddy’s arbitrage was shot in September and I still haven’t begun the editing process- And there’s so much to do! So I need to get this off my chest now, and jump-start the process. I need to dive deep and keep on swimming… I need to… well, you get the point. Part of the delay had to do with (of course) all the other projects I needed to complete before the year was over, but fact is: I’m also… kinda… scared. Scared to see my failures, my inability to create what i had envisioned…
But it’s alright. I go through the same process every film. So here’s to me getting my …ish together and beginning to edit this film. Because just like on the treadmill, once I clear the initial obstacles, I know I’ll be soaring high. I hope. No, seriously. I promise to begin editing… soon.
